Ordinary Desires

She sat there,

Staring through the smoke of her cigarette.

And she thinks,

I loathe you.

I love you.

Don’t ever come back.

Please come home.

A painful soliloquy she recites.

An arduous cycle to fall into.

How cynical,

To want to be wanted this way.

To keep lighting a flame already smothered.

To breathe warm air onto cold,

hand-me-down embers.

How vain and trivial.

How unusual,

But pivotal.

She needs this.

This vicious cycle,

That solemn recital,

A dance she’s learned over and over.

But she struggles,

With this second hand choreography.

Dancing from do to don’t,

from praise to blame.

Second guessing a second guess.

one day she’ll figure it out.

She’ll figure out every step, turn, and pause.

In time, she will stop holding onto missteps she already took.

She’ll focus on the steps ahead.

At the next recital, she won’t dance between do and don’t-

Loathe or love, 

step or pause.

This was just practice. 

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22 thoughts on “Ordinary Desires

    • lakesidepoetry says:

      thank you so much! I definitely tried to choose my words carefully for this one. Wanted it to almost crescendo from shorter, simpler words, into longer lines and more descriptive words. less short and sweet. Really appreciate the comment.

      Like

  1. Danni Nik says:

    Great imagery in this poem. The line about staring through the cigarette smoke is so vivid, it makes all the other images pop. I also enjoy the rhythm of this poem. There are a few lines that mention a cycle, a back and forth pattern and the flow of the poem conveys this beautifully. Great work. Very well done.

    Like

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